What a wonderful week!

Well, my training for the triathlon started this past week. Alex and I started going to the pinnacle building early in the morning before work to swim a few laps. The first day was hilarious because i could barely swim 6 laps. By the end of the week i could swim a half a mile without any problems. I think the scariest part of the triathlon is the swimming. I'm doing the Rush triathlon here in Rexburg. It starts at Rainbow Lake and ends in the BYUI stadium. I'll swim a mile, bike 25, and run a 10k. It's a pretty good distance. I'm sooo excited. So my early morning training is just for the swimming and then after work i head to the gym for about an hour to lift weights and run. I don't have a road bike so i have to use the gyms bikes. I'm going to start renting one from the ORC on campus on my days off.

This weekend i started feeling super sick. Friday i came home from work early and i've just been laying in bed ever since. I got up just in time to run to church to give my lesson and then i came home and crashed again. This bug isn't going away very fast.

But on a better note, i've found a new show that has really kept me entertained. I've been laying in bed watching Vampire Diaries. It's one of those cheesy shows that just sucks you in. So, as i've been laying in bed i've been watching it. It actually really makes me want to read the books. I've heard their are pretty good.

I've started reading a new book called Atlas Shrugged. For any of you that don't know, i'm a pretty hardcore libertarian. Meaning i believe in low involvement from the government and no free handouts from them either. I'm excited because this book is pretty much described as the Bible for Libertarians. let's see how well i'll like it. So far the author is pretty wordy and descriptive, but to be honest i really like that. It helps me slow down my life. Books now a days i feel like skip over good detailing to jump to every point far too quickly. I think it goes back to the fact that we live in a fast paced world where we don't' want to have to wait or exercise patience. I know i'm like that.

Speaking of exercising patience. I really want to get prego. I was looking around at all the girls today in church that are pregnant or just having children and i guess my problem is that i don't want to exercise patience. I really just want to get pregnant now. The other day i went into the temple and just had a good vent session with my Heavenly Father about it. I told him that if he would just give me hope that it is possible that i can have kids then i would be okay, then i would be able to wait for his time table. Well, a couple weeks after that i was blessed with that feeling. At first i thought i got the answer yes you are pregnant now, but after my period started i realized that the feeling i was getting was what i asked for in the temple. It was the feeling of hope, of a yes it will happen. So, now i must keep my end of the bargain. I must trust in His time table and just wait patiently.

Life is so wonderful! I've already been blessed beyond measure! Every day i can't help but count my blessings because i feel like i have so many.

Teton Dam marathon!!!

Wow! I did it! All my hard work paid off! It was truly an amazing experience. I can't wait to do it again. The finish line was an emotional thing for both Alex and I. Man i have the best husband in the world! Alex got a little teary eyed because he has watched me prepare so much for this. He also knows that i'm not a natural runner by any means. We reminisced yesterday about how i could barely run a mile at the beginning of the year and how my face would be bright red when i was done. ha ha! But Alex has been such a wonderful support this past 3 months of training. He really has cheered me on the whole time! I'm so grateful for him.

I was emotional at the finish line because i feel like all the difficulties about my recent tumor surgery, health conditions due to my thyroid, and my whole infertility trial didn't get the best of me. I almost felt like at the finish line that was the end of it all. It was over. I remember when i came home from my mission, my sister Corky ran up to me screaming and almost knocked me down. Corky just ended a 15 year marriage where she had been the brunt of much abuse. The divorce was difficult and dealing with her own scares and medical conditions, as well as the new forming emotional scars of her children, it was all a little too much for her to handle. She said that when she saw me it was like a feeling came over her of 'it's over'! It was all coming to an end. I now know slightly what she felt like.

It is far from the end, but at least hope is attained with that chapter closing. I can move onto the next chapter knowing that i can beat it. It will not get the best of me. I still get annoyed as i listen to girls moan and complain about how 'hard' it is to be pregnant, and poor them. It's hard because i would take their 'poor' trial over not being able to have children any day. But i'm learning to be more sensitive to the people who surround me. We never know what others are going through. Our small complaints would more than likely be overshadowed by their sorrows and broken heart.

My body is still trying to balance out. My hair falls out so much that in a month their will be nothing left. But i have my health. I'm so tired that sometimes after work all i can do is crash and force myself to get up and make something of my life. But what is the use in complaining?Or giving into the tiredness. Really, nothing good can come from it. So, i take every day one day at a time. I don't allow myself to think of how tired i am because i don't want to give my body an excuse to be lazy. In a lesson a couple weeks ago it was said that it doesn't matter what trials we go through, what matters is how we react to our trials. That is the true judge of character. I fail a lot but i hope i can overcome these ever so small tests that have been placed in front of me.

But back to the marathon! It was great to have the whole family up here for a small little reunion. My brother Kip ran the half. My sister Corky and my mom and dad ran the 5k. My sister Angee did the 10k, and my niece Becka ran the marathon with me.

We also had our best friends the Dials waiting at the finish line for me. Carson had just ran the relay version of the marathon with Craigos, his work.

I just love how my friends and family were cheering me on! You guys are the best! Thanks a ton!!!!

The why to why i run

So, i've had a lot of people question me about running and even at times i've had people make fun of me for wanting to run a marathon. I understand that not everyone enjoys running and that it takes some effort to leave the comfort of the couch sometimes so it's not for everyone. But to be honest running has been a lifesaver to me this year. It has been more than a workout. It has been the one constance, the one control that i have had.

Last November the doctors found a tumor in my neck. They explained that it was probably the reason to why we haven't been able to get pregnant. We've been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half and it just hasn't happened yet. It has been really discouraging for me but i was excited to get the tumor removed because then i had a hope that it would solve the infertility.

New Years eve i went in for surgery. Everything went well and they were able to remove the tumor without any problems. It came back as non-cancerous so that was a relief. They did tell me though that i would gain a lot of weight because the tumor was what was causing me to not be able to gain weight at all.

With the frustration of a job whose management style was a little less appealing to me, and just finding out about infertility and tumor problems i started the year quite discouraged. Everything just came to an emotional breaking point. For me to get over it i turned to running. It was the one thing i could control. I couldn't control the fact that i wasn't getting pregnant, or that i had to go to a job every day whose management was quite confrontational. I couldn't even control the 15 pounds that i suddenly gained after the surgery, but i could control how far i ran everyday. My mind did have control over my body. Maybe i'm not the fastest runner in the world but to me it was liberating every time i ran.

I'm now finishing up the final two weeks before my marathon. It has been a growing experience as i've pushed my body past it's point of comfort and have allowed my mind to take control. I'm excited for the marathon. I'm excited for everything i've worked so hard for to come to a close.

Running has really been a lifesaver because it has given me a goal, something to work towards as i've felt for the past year that i've had no control over anything else in my life. I've never been a runner but i know now why i'll never stop running. Running didn't change my medical problems that still stem from my thyroid. I didn't suddenly get pregnant. I still get super frustrated with my job at times, but i'm happy. It's helped me live through it all.

Growing up, when we would complain, my mom would always quote a poem to us. She would only quote a portion of it though so i decided to look it up and read the full poem. It moved me so much i thought i'd share

Today upon a bus I saw
A girl with golden hair;
She seemed so gay, I envied her,
And wish that I were half so fair;
I watched her as she rose to leave,
And saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch,
But as she passed--a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two legs--the world is mine.

Later on I bought some sweets.
The boy who sold them had such charm,
I thought I'd stop and talk awhile.
If I were late, t'would do no harm.
And as we talked he said,
"Thank you, sir, you've really been so kind.
It's nice to talk to folks like you
Because, you see, I'm blind"
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two eyes--the world is mine

Later, walking down the street,
I met a boy with eyes so blue.
But he stood and watched the others play;
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I paused, and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
But he looked straight ahead without a word,
And then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two ears--the world is mine.

Two legs to take me where I go,
Two eyes to see the sunset's glow,
Two ears to hear all I should know,
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I'm blest, indeed, the world is mine.

Written by Dr. Tennyson Guyer

I'm so grateful for my health that God has given me. For the gift of running that has helped me through this year.

My Grandma Stannard

Yesterday my grandma passed away. We sat around remembering her life and the person she is. I was shocked to learn new things about her. She was amazing. She was a convert to the church. When she prayed and knew the church was true she then gave her life to it. She served numerous missions including in Nauvoo and Salt Lake. She was such a wonderful example of finding truth and holding on to it. She met my grandpa at a young age and dispite what everyone said she married him. They were told it would never last but they grew old together, still madly in love. Her sweetheart passed away almost a year to the day that she did. They are both now living their happily ever after and i couldn't be happier for them both. I'm sure they are doing what they both love most, and what they did for so many years, sharing their testimonies with others. I'm so glad that the gospel gives us this hope, this knowledge that things are not over when our earthly bodies are laid to rest.

Alex has been a busy busy bee

So, for those of you who didn't know Alex my man has been busy with his new business Skimmit. It's an amazing idea, and so i'm super excited for him! Basically it's coupons that you access via text messaging. He has been working really hard to get a lot of companies to sign up and it's really coming along. All he needs now are more consumers to show the businesses that this is what people want. So if you get unlimited texts and you want to save some money go to skimmit.com and sign up. We are loving the free deals on there! It's completely free for the consumers so don't think it will cost you a cent! Check it out and help support my hubby!!!

You've got to love the mish!

Today I spent a good afternoon reminiscing about my mission. We had a great stake conference that just brought me back to memories and people from my mission. I starting thinking how i really want to go through my missionary journal but the thought kinda scared me. I was so dedicated on my mission and i feel like i've lost the spark. I never wanted to be that person. Sure i still have a testimony, I'm not going off the deep end so don't get me wrong. It's just on the mission the gospel is your life and you promise yourself a million times that you will keep it going. It's hard to explain and easy to know what i'm talking about if you've served a mission. I've just got a long way to go. But if i could get back to the person i was during the mission that would be a good start. 

I posted this picture of me because i feel like this was the Hermana Jensen i remember and love. I didn't care about wordly things. Heck it was a good day when i actually did my hair instead of pulling it back in a pony tail after hoping out of the shower ;) I loved riding my bike because i felt like i was working harder and i didn't have any down time. And mostly i was just all about other people and their needs before my own. This seems to be such a selfish period of my life. I want to find something to help me give up myself again and dive into other people and their needs. If only we could get prego, ha ha, i think that would be a good start because what mom can really think too much about herself? They are some of the most unselfish people i know. Sure you can find those selfish ones but not the women i surround myself with. 

So, here's going back to who i was so that i can find who i truly am...

How is my hubby the better blogger?

Okay, so, Alex and I have discussed in many ways how i seem more like the male in the relationship. Like when it comes to sports and, well, maybe that was it. But now we've found another one. So, i was thinking i would try something girlie, like, you know, a blog. Not so much. My honest efforts turned into political rantings. Sadly enough, he starts a blog and it's the real deal! How is this? He is a natural, what can i say.


So, i guess what i'm saying is if you want to know what's going on in the parker life you might want to visit his blog as opposed to mine. If you would like to know about the latest political tangent, well, then you know where to come ;)