Parker Family Blog

For all of you wondering what we're up to...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The why to why i run

So, i've had a lot of people question me about running and even at times i've had people make fun of me for wanting to run a marathon. I understand that not everyone enjoys running and that it takes some effort to leave the comfort of the couch sometimes so it's not for everyone. But to be honest running has been a lifesaver to me this year. It has been more than a workout. It has been the one constance, the one control that i have had.

Last November the doctors found a tumor in my neck. They explained that it was probably the reason to why we haven't been able to get pregnant. We've been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half and it just hasn't happened yet. It has been really discouraging for me but i was excited to get the tumor removed because then i had a hope that it would solve the infertility.

New Years eve i went in for surgery. Everything went well and they were able to remove the tumor without any problems. It came back as non-cancerous so that was a relief. They did tell me though that i would gain a lot of weight because the tumor was what was causing me to not be able to gain weight at all.

With the frustration of a job whose management style was a little less appealing to me, and just finding out about infertility and tumor problems i started the year quite discouraged. Everything just came to an emotional breaking point. For me to get over it i turned to running. It was the one thing i could control. I couldn't control the fact that i wasn't getting pregnant, or that i had to go to a job every day whose management was quite confrontational. I couldn't even control the 15 pounds that i suddenly gained after the surgery, but i could control how far i ran everyday. My mind did have control over my body. Maybe i'm not the fastest runner in the world but to me it was liberating every time i ran.

I'm now finishing up the final two weeks before my marathon. It has been a growing experience as i've pushed my body past it's point of comfort and have allowed my mind to take control. I'm excited for the marathon. I'm excited for everything i've worked so hard for to come to a close.

Running has really been a lifesaver because it has given me a goal, something to work towards as i've felt for the past year that i've had no control over anything else in my life. I've never been a runner but i know now why i'll never stop running. Running didn't change my medical problems that still stem from my thyroid. I didn't suddenly get pregnant. I still get super frustrated with my job at times, but i'm happy. It's helped me live through it all.

Growing up, when we would complain, my mom would always quote a poem to us. She would only quote a portion of it though so i decided to look it up and read the full poem. It moved me so much i thought i'd share

Today upon a bus I saw
A girl with golden hair;
She seemed so gay, I envied her,
And wish that I were half so fair;
I watched her as she rose to leave,
And saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch,
But as she passed--a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two legs--the world is mine.

Later on I bought some sweets.
The boy who sold them had such charm,
I thought I'd stop and talk awhile.
If I were late, t'would do no harm.
And as we talked he said,
"Thank you, sir, you've really been so kind.
It's nice to talk to folks like you
Because, you see, I'm blind"
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two eyes--the world is mine

Later, walking down the street,
I met a boy with eyes so blue.
But he stood and watched the others play;
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I paused, and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
But he looked straight ahead without a word,
And then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two ears--the world is mine.

Two legs to take me where I go,
Two eyes to see the sunset's glow,
Two ears to hear all I should know,
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I'm blest, indeed, the world is mine.

Written by Dr. Tennyson Guyer

I'm so grateful for my health that God has given me. For the gift of running that has helped me through this year.

6 Comments:

Blogger Nelson's said...

Hi Lindsey! I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say hi to you guys! and p.s. I think it's great you run, me and Dave just started to run everyday last week, and it's hard, but i love it!

May 31, 2010 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Parker Family said...

Oh yay fellow runners!!! That's awesome that you guys are doing that. What have you guys been up to?

June 2, 2010 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger DeHaan-Lybbert Familia said...

Hey Lindsey I ran into your blog too, I enjoyed your post. I had thyroid cancer when I was 17 and had the tumor removed. Not something I usually talk about but your blog was very helpful to me. Having thyroid issues and the weight issues that come with it are hard for me sometimes. So thanks for the post! It's really hopeful. :)

June 7, 2010 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Alicia said...

Great poem. I'd only heard part of that too so that was fun to read the rest. I'm so glad running has been such a blessing to you. It really is such an amazing thing. I've been a runner my whole life and it has almost always been a blessing in my trials (except for when I had rude team mates!). Anyway, I think you're awesome and I'm so excited you're doing a marathon. That's just so awesome. The best of luck to you this saturday!

June 7, 2010 at 1:35 PM  
Blogger Alicia said...

Hey, it let me comment! Finally!

June 7, 2010 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Parker Family said...

Monica i had no idea! It's kinda frustrating because it's not something that a simple surgery can fix. Most of us have to deal with thyroid medicine and balancing out our hormones for the rest of our lives. I'm glad you found my blog and commented!

And Alicia! Happy Day!! you were finally able to comment. ha ha! I'm glad i finally wrote something for you to comment about! ;) I love that you run. We really have to run sometime together. You can help me start to run faster or something!

June 7, 2010 at 7:11 PM  

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